I’m not Ready to Go! – My Insecurities

Life is crazy!

Packing up your whole room, going through all your things. What to keep, what to take.

It seems like simply moving from one place to another, which may already be scary enough depending on where you go to.My insecurities about studying abroad

But this time it’s totally different. I’m packing to move to another country and eventhough it’s ‘just’ for 5 months my insecurities are kicking in like maniacs.

 

  • What will it be like to live in Sweden? Is life very different from here?
  • I signed a contract for a room there, but does it actually exist? What is it doesn’t?
  • Will I be able to make new contacts and maybe even find friends to spend time with? People to explore the city with and have fun together? Will I find people who also like to be creative or who share my beliefs?
  • What will it be financially? Cause I’ve heard Sweden is a bit more expensive when it comes to grocery shopping than what I’m used to.
  • And about this shopping: do they have the products I prefer for breakfast, lunch & dinner? Or will my stomach need to get used to another lifestyle?
  • What will studying be like there? Will I be able to get the same results with the same amount of studying like I do in The Netherlands? Will I be able to understand the classes that are taught in English, when I’m used to having them in Dutch? Will I be able to follow all the courses I want?
  • Will people like me for who I am? Or will the be reserved when the see that I’m overweight and less ‘normal’ than people think humans should be?
  • They do speak English there, but will I be able to understand a bit and figure out the instructions on the sauce package I bought at the supermarket?
  • Will Sweden eventually feel like a home to me? Or will I be homesick and will 5 months feel like 5 years?
  • I’m scared I’ll miss having hour-long conversations with my mom. Yes, there’s Skype, but I won’t be able to call whenever I would want. And who knows, maybe I’ll even miss The Netherlands more than I think I will. I for sure will learn about what I like about it and what I like less, compared to Sweden…

 

All thoughts that cross my mind when I’m in my bed at night. And I keep telling myself: I want this. I want to know what it feels like to start all over and if I’m able to build a new life I enjoy in a place that’s unlike home. I want to know how college is structured in another country. I want to become a local in a place that starts as a weird labyrinth when I arrive.

I’m sure in the end I’ll be so glad with this experience, that I’ll have learned so much about Stockholm and about who I am and what I’m capable of. And don’t worry, I’m really looking forward to this new part of my life.

But until then, I try to keep myself busy, to not worry about everything and nothing. And enjoy the rush of excitement about all the new possibilities that are ahead.

You’ll definitely read more about how this turned out in the diaries I share on this blog, together with all the awesomess and many many pictures of my adventures. If you want to stay up-to-date, make sure to follow me on Bloglovin’, Facebook or Twitter.

See you soon!

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